“God doesn’t rescue us from our circumstances.”

This message was preached, several times, at a church I went to for several years.

A lifelong friend of mine had been on staff and attended there. My attendance started via streaming. I felt connected and invested; even if I was 5 hours from physically attending.

Moving in 2016 provided the opportunity to participate in person. In fact, significant motivation to move to the city I did was rooted in having the opportunity to be in that church, in person, week in and week out.

In hindsight, I don’t know that I gave much critical thought to that statement when I heard it from the front. I trusted the pastor. There was buy in for the mission and vision of the ministry.

Therein lies the danger.

While I did not think critically about the statement, it seems to me that it did attach itself to the belief system I had carried much of my life.

The sentiment quietly integrated into the growing skepticism and resentment I had toward God.

My perception of unanswered prayer.

My perspective of not being good enough to earn God’s love.

My paradigm that God was an absentee Father. Disappointed in me. Choosing anyone but me.

I had not been in a good place with the Lord for several years.

In 2022, my perception, perspective, and paradigm of God and myself finally reached a point of combustion.

“You don’t seem to care about my prayers and desires, so I’m going to do what I want!”

I said these words.

Out loud.

Defiantly!

To the God of the Universe.

Two months later, the words that were shared with me on a Friday night –

“you’re going to be a dad…”

Confirmed at 4:30am on October 15th, 2022.

We’d barely been dating.

Hardly knew one another.

And now

We had created a life.

Two opposites can exist at the same time – Usually in tension.

Having a baby as an unmarried couple was not what God ever intended.

And…

I was so excited to be a dad.

My daughter is an absolute gift from the Lord.

As this blog will chronicle.

The Lord and I walked together over the next 9 months. Through his kindness, care, and deep knowledge of his son, He came and found me, and gently led me to Him in ways that I had never known.

A Good Shepherd leaves the 99 to find the 1.

Though it is separated from the shepherd and the flock – it was never lost.

He is known so well by his Shepherd that his whereabouts were never in question.

In his kindness and care, He came and found me. He brought me back to himself.

Despite my bitterness.

Despite my Resentment.

Despite my Rebellion.

I see his love, care, and kindness towards me.

I also see his preparation.

The relationship between my daughter’s mother and myself had been slowly and steadily unraveling.

Two years after I heard I’d be a dad, the manner in which that would manifest changed dramatically.

Her mother and I are no longer together.

My Father knew what was coming.

That I would need Him.

In ways I had never needed Him before.

He brought me to a better place with Him –

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.

This last year has been –

Painful

Challenging

Frightening

Rich

Blessed

Fulfilling

It continues to be so –

And yet, I return to those words, spoken from the front –

“God doesn’t rescue us from our circumstances.”

The temptation and opportunity is to view this statement as I had for so long –

God is an angry, disappointed, absentee Father who leaves it up to me to figure things out.

I am on my own.

There is however, an alternative.

There is hope.

While there is truth in the statement, it is not complete.

God does not always rescue us from our circumstances. He is faithful to sustain and rescue us in the midst of those circumstances.

Even and Especially when I create those circumstances.

Because He is Faithful

and He is Kind

Because He is Loving

And He is Good