Andy and I met in 2015. Much to the amusement of those who know me well: I do not recall the day, time, or month when we met. Many of the details have drifted downstream in the river of time. Those specifics at this point lack priority, despite my love for the details.

Each of us were at this coffee shop for a bible study or small group of some kind. It was my first time both in this coffee shop and around the individuals there. My default in situations like these has been to listen and observe rather than speaking up quickly. This particular day was no different.

What began as coffee shop conversation grew into weekly coffee, frisbee, and regular communication between Andy and I for the next year.

Andy and I were in very different places in life when we met This isn’t actually difficult considering the discrepancy in our ages. If my math remakes accurate, I am about 17 years older than Andy. I was in my mid-thirties, while he was looking at post-high school options.

We were also in the midst of our own battles and seeking to see where God was in the midst of them. This reality continues to remain true.

The Lord and I were in the best place we had ever been. And the Lord was very much at the heart of the relationship between Andy and I,.

What he and I had in common were our own unique and yet familiar experiences with our fathers. Along with the pain and questions that each of our childhoods brought about.

It was a privilege to spend time with Andy. To listen and process. To ask questions and give feedback. It was the opportunity to give something I had always longed for myself: to have a father or father-figure who was present, caring, and took the time to invest in me and love me. It was a joy to offer what I had wanted so badly for myself and in many ways had lacked.

The Lord and I were in the best place we had ever been.

Until we weren’t.

Over the next three years, Andy and I would be called to move in different directions. I relocated to Colorado Springs, while he went to South Africa. In many respects we were being positioned closer to the realization of dreams coming true and prayers being answered. Within me an excitement grew as I had plotted out in my heart how, when, and where the Lord would answer my very specific prayers.

Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. I watched and waited for the goodness of the Lord to be revealed in an exclusive area of my life. My perception of God was that He was silent.

Indifferent.

Disappointed.

My view of God as Father was the projection of my own experience as a child just wanting a dad to be loving, caring, and present to protect me and provide for me.

While I did not realize it at the time, God touched and exposed the deep seeded beliefs I held about Him as Father, and myself as His son during an afternoon phone call in Castle Rock, Colorado.

Talking with Andy.

In response to the pain, disappointment, questions, and resentment I do not recall expressing – though I am of the utmost confidence I did – Andy spoke the following over me –

The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

I sat silently as Andy declared this over me.

Gnashing my teeth…

There was no way this was true. Not for me.

In no way could I recognize evidence in or about me that the God rejoiced over me.

That He has joy over me.

That He loves me.

That He rejoices over me with singing.

It couldn’t be true.

My heart could not begin to reconcile my experiences and pain with the truth of Who God is and what His Word says about him.

Until…

I stood at the foot of my bed. Changing another dirty diaper.

My daughter was less than a year old. And dirty diapers were not her favorite part of life to have addressed.

She often let me know!

In my desire to be a good dad – to demonstrate love and care for her – a song was born for those moments.

New Diappy Time

I would look at her and smile and sing as I got her clean and dry and dressed again.

She would look back at me and smile and in most cases become calm and content again.

When she was dressed again and ready to go, I’d pick her up and hold her – cherishing the opportunity to love her and care for her.

It was a joy to care for her.

To love her.

To rejoice over her.

With singing.

I can’t tell you the day or month. The details are blended in to the many beautiful moments with my Heavenly Father and my daughter.

As I gnashed my teeth on a phone call – God planted a seed.

Something small and green and beautiful broke through the ground.

Seven years later.

My heart was moved.

In a moment with my daughter, a song, and a dirty diaper –

My heart started to wonder –

If I am able to so easily love my daughter and rejoice over her with singing, perhaps its possible that God really does that for me as well…?

The goodness and faithfulness of God –

That He does love us.

He does joy over us.

He does delight in us.

He rejoices over us with singing.

I didn’t believe this to be true. Until my daughter was born and I was blessed with being a dad.

God continues to demonstrate His goodness, faithfulness, care, protection, provision, and love for me through my experiences as a father.

Might these experiences be a testimony of His nature and character as a Good and Perfect Father –

And a Blessing to you as you read them.